She was my junior colleague. When I first came to know about her and even after first few interactions, I was not aware that I will ever fell in love with this girl. But slowly I got used to her and realized that I was feeling something for that girl. Yes, it was love. I was a shy and introvert guy. I was not knowing how to tell her but I kept in touch with her for months.

It was winter night, she was messaging me and suddenly I heard something from her what I could not express her. It was the three-golden word I Love You. I was like…. Happy inside but not a word to say. And it all started from there and we both were quite happy and planning about future.

I always wanted to do civil services. When she knew she motivated me but it was difficult for me to clear this prestigious exam while working. But suddenly she started saying that you have to become an IAS officer otherwise my parents will not agree.

I started giving it a thought. She convinced me to leave the job in between without resignation and prepare for some less hectic job so that I can study more and clear the exam. She was well behind me. I call one of my close friend and told him about my plan and in reply I got an advice A GIRL CAN MAKE YOU OR BRAKE YOU. I took the decision that I will go to Delhi and prepare.

I gave medical excuse to my employer but it was not enough now I know. After few months I noticed that her behaviour is changing. It was not late to catch her cheating on me. I felt like someone has put thousand kg weight on my chest. It was difficult to breathe. Irony was that she gave me her fb password and still continued to flirt with her new love.

Somehow after a day I told her that I have caught her. She was crying and giving excuses. I was in love with her. I just wanted all this to be a lie. I did not want to believe on my eyes. Someone has said LOVE IS BLIND. I just wanted back her in my life. I thought my love will make her loyal and honest someday.

She was back in my life. I was happy but somewhere I was feeling unsecured. She was also not so comfortable. But I was trying to manage the things. After a month she told me that she has told about me to her family and one of his family members will meet me soon. Her brother came to meet me. It was nice meeting. And the next day I got the message that she doesn’t want to continue this relationship anymore. She cannot go against her family.

Her brother told her that he had noticed that I might be a smoker or drinker and may be a person who is looking for her money. Hearing this I really laughed. But it was not a joke. Now she was free. And what happened to me after that I don’t know. I failed in the exam. I didn’t return to previous employer despite several notices. They sent me a notice to pay Rs 5 Lakhs as I have not informed them before leaving and it was in contract terms. I went into the hell of depression. I am now bankrupt emotionally and financially. Don’t know how to overcome this. I don’t use any social sites or apps now. I have isolated myself from this fake world. But I don’t why I still feel something for her and for this I just want to kill my heart.

I was so stupid. Please help me.