Hello I am 34 years of age and from a small town in a country in Europe. I would like to share my story so far and get advice how to move forward in my life.

Now I don’t have a job. I dropped on university after a year because of finance reasons but I want to go back and study something like marketing of computer sciences. I went to the army for a year because I had to by the law that was then in 2004 everybody had to except for medical reasons, or if you go to the university.

My experience from the army was good at the time but after I got back home everything was like new to me. The friends that I had then changed everything changed and because I didn’t cope in the situation, I was then I ended getting mental problem. I lost my vision for the future I had before going in the army.

I ended in the mental hospital twice for a month and still running on pills for my health situation. I’m like lost in the world now. I imagined my wishes before going to the army and now I don’t have wishes or something to hope for. I’m numb all the time. I’m anxious and depressed but not talking to anyone about it. I keep all inside me and I can’t hold it any more I think of getting help from a doctor and letting all aside before I finish with my health situation.

I write this because maybe there is someone in my shoes and in the same situation who can share life situation and help me decide what to do in life . I’m into movies music computer science. I’m good with electronics but terrified when working with people anxious all the time. No one knows my going to the hospital from my friends and I don’t want to keep it a secret because it would answer someone’s questions for them because I pulled in my life from the life I had before.

Thanks.