Let me start this off by acknowledging that there are far bigger problems in the world than mine but has become increasingly frustrating to me and starting now this is going to be my therapy.
I am 20 years old and in a month in a half I will be starting my 3rd year old college. I love almost everything about going away to school except one thing: the sexual aspect. I am 20 years old and still a virgin. And on top of that, I’ve never had a girlfriend.
Most of the time my frustrations and such don’t really seem to be an issue, but deep down it is just eating me alive. If you ask any of my friends, including my best friends, I bet they would all be surprised to read this piece and see how much this really eats at me. I’m not socially awkward or anything and I have a decent amount of friends that are girls, but I just have no idea to pursue one romantically.
Any time there’s the slightest chance of a me making a move, I overthink the shit outta everything and chicken out. Two years ago, there was this girl that I really liked, and she knew that I liked her, but I never once told, and she knew she didn’t want to be with me so she just “friend zoned” me and stupid me just stuck around hoping she would finally give me a chance, but it never came. We eventually had a falling out and do not speak to each other anymore, but it is not that big of a deal to me. And now in present day, there are two girls that I have been eyeing, but yet again I just come up with some excuse in my head that justifies me not making a move. And the worst part they are in the same friend group and one of them goes to the same college as me.
I should mention that I grew up in a tiny town (population around 5000 people) so basically everyone knows everyone anyway. But still I overthink and find it too weird that if I were to be rejected by one that I would just try for the other.
My friends are always telling me to “shoot my shot” but for some reason I just can’t. I hate that saying too. For me it is just eerily ironic. When I was in high school I played basketball and I was the best shooter on the team, yet I can’t seem to take a single shot off of the court. I am not writing this piece to seek advice, I am just writing this to help relieve the frustrations that I’ve been building by watching everyone around me get laid while I sit here feeling like fucking loser that won’t ever lose his virginity.