I feel bad and I think it is because I am not satisfied with myself, I don’t know how to solve not being satisfied and nothing is having been done to fix it. I never feel like I belong, and I never feel comfortable, even around my own family. I haven’t been fully transparent and accepted in years. I know I can bring myself to be more productive in work, but I’m doubtful when it comes to social skills and friends.

On a positive note, I applied to three jobs in two days. A job will give me something meaningful and worthwhile to do. And when school kicks back in, things will be even better.

Here’s an observation. Since I left school in May, I have been isolated from people my age. Not good. What’s confusing about this is that when I’m around people my age, I am anxious, weird, angry and uncomfortable. No connection. Both situations are problems, but I don’t know how to fix them.