This is a completely true story, and I can not seem to find any similar true stories anywhere to help me feel better about what i have experienced and had to deal with my entire life following my traumatic events. So…

I was fourteen years old and living with my mother. Although I have two younger brothers they were not living with us at the time. This was do to the fact that my mother had left her long term boyfriend because he was physically abusive, and we had no stable living arrangements. So my mother and I were living from house to house and apartment to apartment, accepting any assistance we could find until mom could get on her feet.

During this time I had met some older dudes who smoked speed and they let me try it with them. Three days later I finally made it back to the apartment we were staying at at the time. It was about three o clock in the morning when I knocked on the window so my mom could let me inside. To my surprise my mom was up still sewing on her sewing machine so she let me right in. She asked where I had been the last three days, I told her I was just out camping with friends. Then she said I was not looking so good and if I was feeling alright. She then approached me to feel my forehead to check if I had a fever. “No fever” she said, then asked again if I was alright and if there was something wrong. I did not know what to say, I could not tell her I was up the last three days high on speed so I just stayed silent. She then asked me again what was wrong but this time with a much more concerned tone.

Now, at the time, I was not aware of my actual medical condition. But the only thing I could legitimately say was wrong with me was that my balls had been really sore and swollen for the last few weeks and it was really beginning to effect me. And that my penis had been shriveled, pale, and cold for the last few days and was not sure if there was something going on that needed medical attention.

Truth was, that the speed was causing my penis to be shriveled and not allowing it to operate as it normally would, and my swollen and sore balls were a hernia and I had 4 inches if intestine grown into my ball sack. But… At the time, my mom nor I were aware of either issue. So, after telling her the truth about one issue to over the truth for why I looked so bad, she told me to show her immediately. She said “it must be real bad if its causing you to look so terrible” and that she needed to know if I had to be taken to the hospital.

She sat down on the bed and told me to “come here” “theres nothing to be ashamed of” “I am your mother” So I approached her and proceeded to take down my pants and underwear right there in front of her.

At first it was extremely uncomfortable but once both my pants and underwear were down to my ankles and all my stuff at eye level with her as she kinda stared at it for a second. I began to feel a sense of euphoria, and suddenly I was attracted to my mom for the first time in my whole life. For the first time I noticed her nipples showing through her night shirt because she had nothing on under it, and that she had very nice perky boobs with perfect portioned nipples.

I was not sure exactly what was going on in my head but I do know I was feeling something I had never experienced before and it was intense beyond comprehension. Then my mom reached with her hand and held my balls up with her fingertips ever so softly and slid them in between my legs until she had my balls cupped in the palm of her hand. I told her I had not had an erection in days. And the last time it tried to erect, it put such a strain on my balls that it instantly went away. She then moved in for a closer look, so close I could feel the breeze from her breathing travel across my penis, balls, and thighs. It was so intense it took my breath away for a moment. Then, she looked up at me, still gently cradling my balls, she asked me if I had ever S”jacked off before?” I replied “yes” Then she asked “when did you do it last?” I said “Not sure exactly, but its been a while” and that “my balls got too sore to get an erection, so I just left it alone” she replied “well I think you have a serious case of blue balls son” and looked at me with a laughing grin.

And that I am going to have to do something about it sooner or later. And that once the pressure gets released, my balls would be a lot less sore and uncomfortable “I believe” she said with the same look on her face. “but I cant get it hard” I told her “I tried”. Then, with no holding back or even a second thought, I said “will you do it for me?” “can you help?” At that moment she softly lowered her hand from holding my balls and kind of giggled and looked at me with a smile I had never seen from my mom. And she said, “what do you expect I can do?” laughing as she finished her question. “I am your mother.” I then said quickly, “touch it, rub it, anything” “will you suck it maybe?”

After I said that she looked at me like I was crazy and said “no!” “your too young for that” “I am way too experienced to suck your dick” “I cant do that to you at your age” “I am sorry” “But here’s what I will do” She stood up off the bed and began to undress, taking off everything but her red lace panties. She turned around and pulled her panties tight to her butt cheeks, slightly bending over revealing her pussy pouch held securely in red lace. Crawled onto the bed on all fours and said “come here” with a smile so seducing I get an erection everytime I think about the memory.

Still to this day even, I fight my lustful feelings I get when I remember the look in her eyes and the smile on her face. It “at that time” was absolute! She was no longer my mom, she was the seductress of my fantasies. I was completely mesmerized as I did as she said and climbed onto the bed toward her. Leaving my pants and underwear behind, I was almost completely naked, my socks were all that remained.

Nervous and uncertain about what to do, I waited for her to take control. She then reached back down and gently began to caress my balls with her fingertips and took hold of my penis between her thumb and index finger and began softly stroking me. All the while maintaining that same smile as she glanced back and forth from my eyes to my penis focused on her objective yet taking her time as she began to find pleasure in what was taking place. I then asked “will you take off your panties?” “I want to see all of you” She replied “if I do, you can only look not touch” Speaking in a eager yet disciplinary manner. “you can only touch what you see now” she said as her smile intensified. I left no time wasted, like a kid on a shopping spree I quickly reached out and grabbed her breast and rubbed her nipple watching her skin grow goosebumps and the nipple grow harder and harder. She bit her lip staring deep into my eyes and slowly turned around and removed her red lace panties from her body. My erection growing as I watched the lace slightly stick to her pussy lips as she rolled them down to her knees. As she turned back to me she seen my entirely erected penis standing straight up and looked at it like she wanted to suck it so bad but just could not get herself to do it. She knew she would change my life forever if she were to do so. And being my mom, I understand now, that she knew it was the responsible thing to not do.

So she leaned in putting her breasts close enough to my face I could put my lips on them, licked her hand and began to jack me off. Occasionally whimpering in my ear she gently rubbed her cheek against mine expressing her love for me as she made it obvious she wanted to make me cum. I will never forget the moment I took my lips off her nipple as the orgasm began to take me over, she looked at me in my eyes and placed her forehead against mine smiling in complete satisfaction as my cum exploded all over her thighs and stomach. She then leaned back, still holding my penis looked down at my cum as it dripped down to her pussy from her stomach. She looked back at me with that smile and kissed my forehead and said “I love you but” “this is the only time this will happen” “OK?” I replied “thank you”. Little did she know, She was the first woman to make me cum. AndI knew in the back of my mind I was gonna have her again someday.

About three or so weeks later I overheard something or seen something happen with my mom that made me approach her directly for another hand job that following night. She was upset about something and was couped up in the room. I went in and asked her if everything was alright. She said “Ill live” then looked at me with sorrowful eyes, lost and desperate she reached to me for a hug. She held me for quite some time before I began to feel that same euphoria I felt before.

As soon as it took control of me and my erection grew, I knew I was going to step past that boundary she had set after she made me cum that night just a few weeks prior. As we sat on the bed holding each other she began to cry ever so slightly. That’s when I placed my head on her shoulder and let my lips just lightly rest on her neck. I still am not sure if it really happened this way but, I felt she pressed herself closer to me to give me the green light to kiss her neck. so I began to kiss her working my way to her ear. She began to whimper and breath heavy, then stopped me and said “no” “Wayne baby stop” “I am still your mother and this can not become acceptable” “I am sorry” Tears running down her cheek she looked deep into my eyes and rubbed her hand down my cheek and rubbed her thumb across my lips and smiled. I then said “please” “I feel so alone in this town” “You are the only person who makes me feel comfortable” She then said back to me “You too baby” as fresh tears fell from her eyes and she stared into mine. I then reached for her breasts and grabbed hold of one with my left hand. She took a deep breath as I leaned in and began to kiss her neck again. She repeated herself for quite some time as she allowed me to kiss her neck and caress her breasts “no, baby” “please no” I heard the whispers but did not feel the rejection. I then grabbed her wrist and placed her hand on my fully erect penis. She said “oh my god” then began to stroke it. I then began to undress her, eventually getting her to full nudity once again. the difference this time though is she was slightly crying the entire time as she laid on her back, legs spread, showing all her glory while jacking me off.

Her eyes were closed most of the time with the exceptions of the few times I kissed her lips. She wanted it but she was my mom and I could tell she was not sure about what was happening. I felt she had her legs spread to invite me to touch but she told me no touching the first time she showed it to me. So I kept my hands to myself and just kissed her neck, ear, lips, and sucked and nibbled on her nipples while she she worked her magic with her hand. After about twenty minutes I could tell she was getting worn out by the whole thing and started to dose off. I then whispered to her “Can I taste you?” “I want to go down on you” “you want me to?” She said “no baby, I cant let you do that” “even though I would like that right now, I cant let you” by then she had stopped stroking me and somehow I ended up over her stroking myself. After she said no to me going down on her she told me to just cum on her chest. “I am ok with that” she said, still teary eyed and lost. She then smiled at me and said “I love you” then closed her eyes as I jacked off over her until I came. Once I was finished and her chest and breasts were covered with my cum , she opened her eyes and smiled at me. I wiped her off, then laid down with her and we held each other all night as we slept naked together as if we were lovers.

A few days later we had to leave where we were staying and park our van in one of my moms friends yards. There was no room for us in the house so we had to sleep in the van at night. We removed all the back seats and turned it into a huge bed. One night my mom called me from the bar up the street and said she thinks she got drugged and to go get her before she blacked out. I pulled into the parking lot and my mom was out on the side of the building half passed out with some dude hovering over her.

I pulled up and got her in the van and went back to the place we were staying. My mom told me to get her to the bathroom and put her in a cold shower. By the time I got her in there she was almost completely blacked out. Fading back and forth from conscience to unconscience She managed to get herself half undressed then told me to just lock the door and stay in there with her until she snaps out of it. She then laid down on the floor and I sat next to her with her head on my lap. As my moms half naked body laid across the floor, head in my lap and completely knocked out.

It flipped my switch and I became aroused and found myself with a full erection and the urge to jack off while she lay unconscience and completely unaware. I began to run my fingers through her hair and it woke her for a moment as she tried to remove her pants completely. She finally gave up and laid back in my lap. She looked up at me and told me she loved me, smiled, and laid back down. But this time she grabbed my penis and held it as she passed back out. Or at least laid her hand across it and kept it there. Whatever the situation, that really made me feel some type of way, as if my mom was in love with me.

I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her. After I said that she kinda shifted her body and exposed her pussy completely. Her pants still tangled around her ankles but legs spread wide open as she continued to keep her hand on my erection. Like she was holding on to it as if it belonged to her. Then, something came over me and the no touching, only looking boundary suddenly no longer existed. Yet I felt if I touch her right then while she was out then it would be basically rape. so I resisted the urge and just stared at her. Then it seemed every few seconds she would shift her self around all the while keeping her hand on my penis. It was like every time my erection would start to go away she would move, push her pussy out, and press on me to get me erected again. So I said to myself “fuck it” “shes gotta be doing this on purpose” so I reached between her legs and played with her pussy for about an hour. She woke up and shifted a few times but never seemed to block me from having my fingers inside her. Later that night she woke me up and told me to come on “lets get off this floor and go to the van.” So we went to our van and laid down together. She started to try to explain what happened at the bar earlier but could not quite remember. But she said “thank you for making sure I did not die in the bathroom today” And looked at me with a smile like she knew I touched her and had my fingers in her.

Then she asked me to help her get her pants off, and got completely naked. I began to touch her breasts and put her hand on my penis. Without question she started to jack me off again. My sweats were in the way so I kinda got up and took them off. She never let go of my erection and when I went to kneel back down my penis was right by her face. For some reason I just went for it and tried to put it in her mouth, she did not refuse and started to suck it. I was completely lost in what was actually happening and could not believe my mom was finally sucking it. Then I reached between her legs and grabbed her pussy and began to put my finger in her. Her pussy was super wet and it gave me butterflies, as I glanced over and seen my mom sucking me off. Then right as my finger began to penetrate her, she ripped my penis out of her mouth, jumped up and said “I am sorry but this ends here” got dressed, jumped out of the van and left walking. And there I sat, naked, confused, embarrassed, abandoned, hurt, ashamed, and most of all, alone with my thoughts. I did not see my mom for a couple days after that and when she returned it was like it never happened.

I am now 34 years old and it has never came up or spoken about since. 20 years of silenced confusion and pain. I fanticised about her for many years to follow. She was all I thought about when I jacked off, I would pretend the girls I was sleeping with were her.But I still have yet to feel such a powerful euphoric feeling before, during, or after sex. No orgasm has ever been so intense that the first night my mom thought I had blue balls and jacked me off. I have seen a thousand pussies since then but none can compare to the way I felt when I seen my moms for the first time as the red lace peeled off of it. I am damaged from it in ways I can not seem to figure out how to fix. But typing this and explaining everything in detail then sharing it with the world has already taken so much weight off of my shoulders. I am so thankful for my wife as well. She has given me the comfort and safety to be ok with telling my story. This was the final piece to my purification puzzle I have been trying to complete for almost 20 years. And I hope this story can help others with similar experience.