ShareMyLife

My boyfriend is so confusing. He tells me for weeks that I’m always on his mind. That he’s always thinking about me. I leave his house and he’s already saying he misses me via text, the second I walk out the door. I of course reciprocate.

Today he told me I’m too obsessed with him, and it’s unhealthy. He asked if I could go 20 seconds without thinking about him. “No, ten,” he added. I do go without thinking about him… “I text you when I’m thinking about you, not when I’m not, so of course you wouldn’t know when I’m not thinking about you.”

He proceeds to tell me that I shouldn’t be bothered if he’s not available. For instance, if he’s hanging out with his friends.

Um, HIS friends? We share the same friend group! What the hell? Is it so much to ask for to be invited to hang out with our friends as well?

But all of this I can reason through. Perhaps I am being ‘clingy’, and unhealthily attached.

One thing I can’t reason through is him saying, “I sure know how to pick them.” ;-; Hurtshurtshurtshurtshurts. I smoothed the situation over before I left… eased the tension with a hug and a kiss… but it was all a show. A show he was unable to catch onto.

And now I’m holding back tears and feeling stupid and wondering what’s wrong with me. I need to hang out with ‘my’ friends, I guess. The few friends we don’t share. I need to be strong and independent. I can do this. I don’t NEED anyone…

“I sure know how to pick them.” That keeps going through my head, though… I feel so miserable… I just want him to hug me and tell me he loves me. But I shouldn’t need his validation or presence or whatever. I shouldn’t need him!

And he tells me all of this after telling me that he woke up from a dream where we had gone on a date, and gone home to a house and fallen asleep together… What IS the balance? How do I find it?

I seem to be invisible to everyone…
The person I’m interested in keeps overlooking me and going after the ‘socially acceptable’ people to have relationships with.
I just took a psychology test. If it’s right, that person is the most important person in my subconscious mind right now. Fudge.

Hello, hello! Is this thing still on?

My mother is insane.

I’m not talking a little on the eccentric side, I’m talking full-blown, psychotic, hide the f*cking knives this bitch is bat shit!, crazy.

Now to find a nice HaHa Hotel to house her psycho ass until she finally dies.

I’m hurting in side and want to take my own life, why do you find someone you fell in love with and take down your walls in hopes you wont get hurt again. Seems to happen every time and it makes me so sad that they dont have enough love or compassion in them to even care. Just want to say my life is about over the light of life in me is almost out and im fadeing fast. So goodbye I’ll see the lord in my judgement. Good by veronica !!!

I don’t expect this to be a website with serious people on it… but I am looking for some kind of an outlet… a really serious outlet. My wife is crazy… clincally crazy (to use a layman’s term for mentally unstable). I want to set up an internet/web stream of live activity so that people can see how we interact and what goes on in my home.

I’m a porn addict, a sadist and am going to change my life now!

I’ve recently started having pretty intimate dreams about my university professor, my BF finds this kinky and lets me role play!

I just wish I could live in another country sometimes

I kissed a girl which I find revolting, but due to being drunk I thought it wasn’t half bad. She wanted a serious relationship afterward… but then I told her I was gay so she could back off.

I had a dream that I went to the place to masturbate because I had trouble doing it – it was kind of like a shop. Anyway, there was a girl there who was upset because she couldn’t do it either, so the solution was to have sex and lose my virginity to this stranger. Not quite sure what to think about here.

I have a permanent brown mark around my uncircumcised penis from all the years of masturbation. I dont know what ill tell a girl when I am with one.

I remember back when I was in primary school in grade 1, I was scared to go to the toilet because they installed automatic flusher. I was peeing, then it would flush and scare the crap out of me.

My mum told the principal who came with me to show me that there is nothing to be afraid of.

I met a really hot girl in my dreams last night. Why does this always happen in my head, and never in real life?

I just embarrassed myself. I like to watch cone-ing videos on YouTube, and I assumed everyone knew what it was. I went into McDonald’s with my friend and grabbed the ice cream upside down, and everyone just stared at me like I was a freak.

I took my boyfriends virginity.

I’ve been depressed for a while because I’m a closet gay. It feels like the only times I feel happy/normal are when I forget about the reality that I’m gay. The reality that I won’t be able to have kids (which I want BADLY, to teach them everything I’ve learned in my life, while they are growing up), the reality that I won’t have an average house with an average car, average friends who like average things. I don’t want a life as a single man in a city apartment by himself forever. All my school friends are starting to get married and have kids, and with this day in age, due to Facebook, my life (or lack of) will be advertised. Turning to religion hasn’t helped – even if I accept who I am, there’s still the majority of the world who thinks being gay is at least ‘interesting’. I really hate that!!!!. Even if I run away and start life over (as in new friends and new self image), my family will receive the embarrassment and taunts and gossip behind their backs about me). I’m really smart by the way, I go to university and am studying engineering. But I think I’m so smart that I can’t kid myself into thinking that my life will be OK. I’ve seen the path a gay man takes a lot of times and I can say, it was easier for them a decade ago when they were coming out. Even though the tolerance is higher now, everyone’s lives are put on show for the world via Facebook and stuff. If I delete my Facebook my friends will think I’m antisocial. I also hate that my parents have, and still are, ultimately wasting their time, effort, sacrifices and love on a dud like me. It’s not so much about denying who I am, it’s more about not being able to be who I want to be (have a wife and kids, be seen as normal). For those who think being normal is boring, I say being normal keeps yourself happy and there is no attention drawn to you which is almost always good. If I had to choose between being a noble prize winner, a down to earth celebrity, or a man who lived happily and healthily with a wife and kids, I’d go for the last choice. For those who think that my life is at least better than someone with no legs, or someone in a third world country, I say there are people even more fortunate than me – who can have kids and hold a good job – that are murderers and drug traffickers, throwing their lives away. I can’t drop this and ‘move the f*** on because it’s not something that I can leave in the past. It’s with me for the rest of my life, and the fact that it keeps resurfacing in my mind when someone asks “so you got a girlfriend?”, or if I see a happy couple with kids, adds more pressure to me wanting to stop living like this, as a gay man, or altogether.

I’m depressed for many reasons and for no reason at all. Once I say out loud the reasons that make me depressed I find out how they’re so stupid for me to be depressed. Maybe I’m depressed because I do not have a real reason to be, or maybe because it’s so easy to just be depressed and lazy and listening to sad music and watching comedy like Family Guy. It’s just much easier than to work hard and prove myself, which is what would take me out of depression and I know it. But somehow I mock hard workers and find that they are too naive and spend too much effort for nothing; I mean one day they’ll also be depressed, and all that hard work is useless.

Sometimes I’m depressed because when I look back at my life, I find a person who doesn’t take his life seriously, someone weak, stupid and just pathetic. So I stop looking back at my life, maybe because I don’t dare, it just makes it worse. Maybe the way out of depression is to stop looking back at your life and just going for the future. But where does the future lead me, and would I be any happier there, what if I make mistakes and make it worse? Will I be stuck for the rest of my life in my place between “what” and “if?”. I know I should do something about it.

Sometimes I think maybe I got some sort of mental disorder and that’s why I’m like this. But I heard medications just make it worse, and even the evidence that there’s such thing as a mental disorder is none. But what if mental disorders do exist, does that mean happiness is just a matter of genetics? Luck? Some people get to be happy while others are doomed to depression for their lives?

Maybe I’m just weak, and unsuccessful, maybe that’s why some people end up homeless and living in the streets, because they’re like me. they just are, and I just am.

On the other hand, when I worked hard and tried to accomplish things and just be honest and friendly with people, I got to be happy, and also got to be sad, but I was able to accept that and move on. But when I do that, I end up doing stupid mistakes which make me depressed in the first place. Maybe that’s why I prefer to stop and not take any other steps, so I wont regret them. Maybe if I don’t act, I wont be surprised when any bad thing happens.

People relate to each other when they talk about depression, however uncommon their experiences are. I hope you related to mine, if not, then I’m just different than everybody else…

After reading this article in the paper http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/i-used-to-be-outgoing-now-im-paranoid-charged-teen-20110723-1hue7.html, it’s about a teenager who got sent a picture of a few topless, under age girls. A couple of months later, the police took his phone and computer off him to prove his innocents for a girl claiming he attacked her.

Police found the image sent in the past, charged him for possessing child porn and put him on the sex-offenders list for 8 years.

What sort of world do we live in where criminals get off scot free, while an innocent person has his life destroyed – as he now faces depression.

So for all those teenage girls, if you want to get back at your ex-boyfriend, take a photo of yourself, call the cops and tell them that your ex-boyfriend has child porn, then send him the image.

If he hurts you, he will get a slap on the risks, send him a topless photo and he’ll go to Jail.

So, I wanted to meet my friends in the next suburb, and my parents wouldn’t take me, so I had to catch the bus which my brother gave me directions on what to do. So I hoped on the bus, only to realised it’s going the wrong way. Opps. So the bus driver said to hop off here, and another bus will come a long soon and take you back.

So I waited for the bus. One eventually came and I hoped on. It was the bus same driver on the way back. So she took me to the trainstation where I would catch the train to my final destination and meet my friend. The train was delayed, so we decided to catch the bus. Found the bus, hoped on, and it was the same driver again. She said, yes, I am going to where you want to go.

So, I caught the bus three times to get to my destination, and it was the same bus the whole time. Man I make things harder than it actually is.