I’m tired of being the one who always reaches her friend first. I’m tired that I am always waiting for her to be the first to message or to talk to me personally. It’s like I’m the only one who cares about our friendship enough to sustain it.

I swore to myself that I would not be the one who’s always chatting first. But I always go soft when she is around. I am tempted to talk to her because I want to be with her. She says that I am her best friend, but is that even really true?

From what I am experiencing lately I’ve been sadder than before I met her. Is she a bad influence in my life? Would I quit in our friendship? Or am I going to tell her what I really feel about this situation. It’s hard for me not to think about her because I like her, I might even say that I’m in love with her…